Despite the title, this is not an outline of how I intend to get a permanent position at a university.
On this day, in 1892, John Ronald Reuel Tolkien was born, and we celebrate it at 9 p.m. (local time, wherever you are) quite simply with a short toast:
To the Professor!to be delivered while standing, with a glass filled with something good; take a sip, then sit back down to continue your evening. If you are sensible, like we are, said evening will consist of leisurely reading of Tolkien's works.